I BELIEVE
by bFishstix
Summary: LAST CHAPTER HAS A HAPPY ENDING... Todd Thomas Gordon is having two feelings--sad and glad. The sad part's his friend Joe, who has cancer. The glad part's his mom (Lizzie) who is pregnant. What'll happen in this sad and glad story?
1. todd thomas gordon

**I BELIEVE**

**Chapter 1 Todd Thomas Gordon**

I am Todd Thomas Gordon. I am fourteen years old and in grade 8. I'm not a punk, jock, or a popular guy; I'm just an average guy who has two best friends and one girlfriend. I am not a genius. I do not make straight A's. I make B's and sometimes A's, or maybe either some C's. It depends weather I am in the mood or not. I get ticked off real quick if I don't get my way or the homework/schoolwork is too hard. If I'd smart-mouthed the teachers, I'd get a detention, which my parents would ground me. That is not always fair; well for me anyway.

Besides hanging out with my friends and girlfriend, I spend time with my parents, Lizzie and Gordo, which I just call Mom and Dad. I like to create videos, which I think I'd got that from my Dad. Sometimes he even teaches me to edit videos, add music and much, much more. Sometimes I would get very ticked off if I don't do something right. My Dad always tells me, "Don't get angry just because you can't get it right the first time. Just try again and if that doesn't work, then keep trying and you'll get it right."

In addition, I like to sing, which I think I'd got that from my Mom. I am much too shy to let anyone hear it. Come to mention it, my Mom seen me singing along with a song in my room last summer. It wasn't about ten seconds later until I noticed her standing at the doorway. I was so embarrassed. She had told me that she would get embarrassed if someone heard her as a teenager too. Now she sings all the time and does not get embarrassed.

Both parents are the best parents on earth, no wait, not the earth, the universe. I am glad that my parents got back together, because I would never know what I'd do without them being a couple again.


	2. jason troy

**Chapter 2 Jason Troy**  
  
My Best Friend, Jason Troy, which goes by Jay, has been my friend ever since grade 3. He's twenty percent Irish and the rest American. He's the same age as me, and in grade 8. He has brown and black mixed hair. His Dad had passed away when he was only five or six. He hasn't told me what his Dad had passed away from, but has told me, every time he holds or looks at his Dad's picture, he would get tears in his eyes and clouded flashbacks that they'd shared in the past. To cheer him up, I would tell him something funny that happened to me in the past, and it works, too. He would laugh and say, "Thanks." I would say, "Your welcome. But I still remember the time my Mom and Dad got separated. I cried and cried until you had told me something funny. I know that my parents got back together after two months of being separated; I was happy, but I still know what not having a Dad feels like."  
  
One memory I remember, that Jay and I shared was in the forth grade. The day was Saturday, so we decided to camp out in a tent, in my backyard. Well, sort of in the woods. We had put blankets down on the bottom of the tent, so it'd be comfortable; not just the hard, cold ground. We had brought two flashlights, about eight water bottles, snacks, like: chips, cookies, apples, and bananas. We also had our baseball cards to just trade them to each other. Also, we jumped around while we ate the snacks. Later, we felt sick to our stomachs. "Ohhh! Jumping around when you're eating bananas, apples, and cookies isn't very smart." Groaned Jay. "Yeah, tell me about it." I agreed. We just lied there, groaning and moaning from all those snacks we ate. About fifteen sounds later, we heard sounds, and that made us get up, forgetting about our stomachs. "What was that?" We said, together. Then we saw something pass by the tent. My heart was pounding. We were very scared. Then I turned to Jay, "Uh, Jay, maybe it's just my Mom or Dad just checking on us." He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe, but would they come to the tent first?" I didn't know what to expect. Is Jay right? To see if he was, I went to the flappable tent door and opened it. "What are you doing? Are you crazy? Close that door, 'cause maybe that someone or something would come and try to get us!" Jay said, frightened. "Well, I'm going to see if it's my parents." I said as I picked up a flashlight and then went outside by the tent. I stood there shining the flashlight all around. I heard the sounds. Footsteps actually. My heart was beating rapidly and I was scared, but I didn't go back into the tent. I just kept standing there. I could hear Jay inside the tent saying to himself, "Oh, no, this can't be happening. This reminds me the time I was scared of a book called, 'The Pink Bunny', when I was younger. The book was about this pink bunny that always would steal lettuce out of a garden. I would cry and cry until my Mom or Dad would quit reading that book. I hated it. I was scared of it. I thought pink bunnies would just jump out on me when I go and pick lettuce out of our garden. I'm still scared of them. Oh, no, what if that bunny is out there, trying to scare us." I stood there laughing. I couldn't believe my best friend was scared of a bunny, and still is. Um, come to think of it, I was scared of the Boogie Man under my bed. When it's my bedtime, my parents said to go to bed. But I refused. I had told them why I didn't want to go to bed. "The Boogie Man is under my bed and if I go to sleep, he will come and get me." They'd said that he was not real and I will be safe. I still refused not go to bed. My Dad would pick me up and I would scream when he brought me to my room and into my bed. They'd put covers on me to tuck me in, but I would throw the covers off me. I would lie there crying, kicking my legs and fists into the air. Since my parents couldn't get me into my own bed, they let me sleep on the couch. I stopped crying and said, "Okay." Now, compare Jay's fear to my fear. Big difference. My fear, The Boogie Man is a lot more popular than the pink bunny. Who the heck has a fear of a pink bunny, besides Jay? Maybe nobody at all, I'll never know.  
  
I heard the footsteps get louder and louder. I didn't see anyone. This was totally freaking me out! Ten seconds later, someone had scared me by coming up behind me and screaming, "Aaahhh!" I shined the flashlight to the person and it was... "Dad!" I yelled, frightened. He came over to me laughing and said, "Got ya!" Then Jay came out of the tent and said, "It's no pink bunny. It's just you, Mr. Gordon."  
  
I think, what makes Jay such a great friend: he's loyal, a pal, a buddy, he experiences the ups and downs right along with me, just a cool friend to hang out with. Sometimes, we get in fights, but we make up and still be friends, always and forever. 


	3. kari mellow

**Chapter 3 Kari Mellow**  
  
Kari Mellow has been my girlfriend ever since five months, and we're still going. She's the nicest as she could be. She's fourteen, in grade 8; she has blonde hair and green eyes.  
  
At first, I had a crush on her. All I did was: talk about how she was sweet, how she acted, how she smiled, how she laughed, how I dreamed about her in my sleep. She was on my mind everyday and night. I told all my friends that, so they said that I need to go up to her and ask her out. I was scared, because I thought she would turn me down. However, the next day I went up and asked her. She said yes, and I almost fainted to the ground. I was glad that she said yes!  
  
Our first was an embarrassing situation for both of us. We went to the theater to see a movie. We sat right beside each other. I had taken a bite of popcorn and some reason I started sneezing. I asked if she had any tissues. She quickly dug in her purse and you would not believe what she brought out and handed to me. "Ew! Yuck!" I had a disgusting look on my face. It was a girly product. She covered her face with her hands, because she was so embarrassed. I was too, because everyone in our row was laughing.  
  
One memory that I remember that Kari and I shared was out first kiss. We sat on a park bench. I wanted to try to make a move to kiss her, but she had put up her hand and blocked me. She said that she wasn't ready yet. She was nervous. The next week, we sat on the bench again. This time Kari made the move. I was shocked. She pulled away and whispered in my ear, "I love you, Todd."  
  
Kari makes a great girlfriend, because she's nice, beautiful, funny, makes me laugh, and just because she is the greatest. Best thing of all, I love her. We are hoping to stay together forever.  
  
**_ Chapter 4 coming soon_**


	4. sad and glad feelings joseph & elizabeth

_Thanks for the reviews... note- chapters 1 through 4 (this chap) was just a prologue-type-thing (past chapters). Then chapter 5 and so on are present day chapters. Get what I'm saying?_  
  
**Chapter 4 Sad and Glad Feelings (Joseph and Elizabeth)**  
  
Joseph Tuuluutoo, which goes by Joe, has been my friend since grade 5. He's age fourteen and in grade 9, high school. The reason why is he's a smart guy. He discovered that in grade six the work was excessively easy for him, so his parents and teachers moved him up a grade. I was sad when Joe went up a grade. I thought I would lose him as a friend. I thought I would never see him again. However, I was wrong. I did not lose him as a friend. I could see him in-between classes, at lunch, and in 8th period study hall. We were still friends after all. In addition, he is 50 percent Chinese and 50 percent American.  
  
One memory that I remember that Joe and I shared was in grade 5; a couple days after we'd met. We were in a department store. Joe and I were in the toy aisle, and my parents were in the clothes aisle. We decided to play hide and seek. Joe was the hider and I was the seeker. It really sucks being the seeker. I wanted to be the hider, but I guess it was fair because we sang: "red, white, and blue. A girl kissed you. Took you to the movies and undressed you." The song was just like, "any, meany, miney, moe," to see who goes first. While I was looking for Joe, I decided to hop on a bike and ride it in the store. I wasn't caught, but I did wreak into the pet center, causing all the frogs and dogs to get loose. Everyone was running around, freaking out. I did get caught by my parents who said, "Todd Thomas Gordon, you are in deep trouble!" Then Joe came and started laughing, then stopped because my parents said angrily, "We cannot believe you two. You should know that you shouldn't act that way in public!"  
  
Now a few months back, Joe was down with the flu. He was coughing, throwing up a lot. He refused to eat at dinner, lunch, and breakfast. Then a week passed by and Joe was not even better; he was worse. He would not even drink anything. Therefore, his parents took him to the hospital to see what was wrong. Shortly after, he returned. Jay, Kari, and I wanted to know what was wrong with him. We cared. All Joe said was, "They think I have a bad illness." He had tears in his eyes. I did too. All of us did, but didn't cry yet. A few weeks later, the doctor called and told Joe and his parents what he had. He had called me and the others on three-way and said, "I've got Leukemia." His voice sounded shaky. Once again, I got tears in my eyes and then turned to tears. I bet Jay got tears in his eyes also. I could not believe it. After, I called Kari and told her, and she started busting out crying even though Joe wasn't her friend as long.  
  
Joe's a great friend to hang out with, though I wish he would get better. If we hope and believe, Joe might beat it.

---------

One night at dinner, my mom and dad said, "Todd, we have something to tell you." All I said was, "'Sup?" "Your mom---"my dad started. "is pregnant." my mom finished. I sat there with a blank expression on my face. "You're what?" "Pregnant." She repeated. "How?" I asked, then caught myself, "Well, duh! I know how. I learned that in Health last year!" All of us laughed and ate dinner.  
  
Some things in life are sad in one way and glad in another. The glad part is my mom, who's going to bring another member into the family. The sad part is my friend Joe, who has Leukemia. Some things in life just aren't fair. Sad and glad; that's two feelings. I just hope that these two feelings, and conditions both my mom and friend is in, would be the only things I have to worry about. I do not want anyone else to get hurt or sick. That'd be terrible. I just hope that Joe would get better soon. Please.  
  
_ chapter 5 coming soon_


	5. surprise that shocked me

**Chapter 5 (present day)- Surprise That Shocked Me**  
  
Today is April 30th, 2015, and I still feel sad for Joe and glad for my mom. Every two weeks Joe has to go to the hospital to get chemo. I do not hang out with him very much anymore, because of that and he's sick all the time. However, he does tell stories of his childhood to the gang and me. We laugh and cry on some. It's just so sad, you know? Just to see your friend sick and suffering in pain, you feel sorry for them. You get sick to your stomach just thinking about it. You may cry a lot, but you cry because you care and caring is the thing to do if your friend is sick. You just hope they will beat it and be better soon...  
  
Mom's seven-and-a-half weeks along, and she gets mood swings all the time, but I still love her. Dad is supportive to Mom, even though she gets cranky and yells at him. And he loves her, that's important.  
  
--------------  
  
Someone knocks at the door. Mom said to answer it, because she was busy with doing laundry. Therefore, I did.  
  
"Huh?" I had a questionable look on my face. Who is that? I knew I seen her before, but I forgot her name. What was it?  
  
"Is Lizzie here?" the lady asked as she held a girl about two or three in her arms.  
  
"Who are you?" I asked the lady.  
  
"I'm—"the lady got cut off as my mom ran in and said, "Miranda!"  
  
"Lizzie?!"  
  
Mom hugs her. "It's been so long since I had seen you." She stops hugging her, and looks at the girl in Miranda's arms. "Is she yours? She's so cute."  
  
"Yeah, she is. Her name is Lassi."  
  
"I-I- cannot believe it. The last time we seen each other were at our reunion. So long ago." Mom looks like as if she was going to cry.  
  
"I know, but how far along are you?"  
  
"Seven-and-a-half months."  
  
"Boy or girl."  
  
"Don't know yet."  
  
I spoke up, "I think she's having twins."  
  
Miranda turns toward me and asks, "Are you Todd?"  
  
I nodded my head yes.  
  
"Whoa! You've grown. How old are you?"  
  
"Fourteen, but turning fifteen May 5th."  
  
"Fourteen, fifteen? Oh, my. Todd, I still remember when you were two."  
  
She turns to mom and asks, "Lizzie, where's Gordo?"  
  
"He's helping our new neighbors build a shed." Mom added, "Come on in and have a seat."  
  
"I wish I could, but Tuu, Drew, and my husband Aaron are waiting in the car."  
  
"Whose Tuu and Drew?"  
  
"They're my husband's age 10 twin boys. He gets them on the weekend."  
  
"Could we meet them?"  
  
"Sure." Miranda waved them to come in and the came.  
  
"Aaron, this is my friend, Lizzie."  
  
He shakes mom's hand. "Nice meeting you."  
  
Miranda turns to me, "And this is her son, Todd."  
  
He shakes my hand. "Nice meeting you too."  
  
"Tuu and Drew, this is—"  
  
They cut Miranda off, "We know." Pause. "Lizzie and Todd.  
  
Mom spoke up, "My husband Gordo is helping the neighbors. I'll call over there and tell him come home if you want to meet him."  
  
Aaron shakes his head, "If that's not a problem. I don't want to get in the way while he's working."  
  
Mom calls over to the neighbors.  
  
I go to Tuu and Drew and ask, "'Sup? So do you want to see my room."  
  
"Sure."  
  
Then dad walks in the door. Mom introduces him to Aaron. However, when he seen Miranda, he acted just like mom when she had seen her.  
  
Tuu, Drew, and I go upstairs.  
  
"What do you want to do?" I ask.  
  
"Watch a R-rated movie!" Drew said excitedly.  
  
"Nah. I'm not allowed."  
  
"Why? We're allowed." Tuu and Drew both ask.  
  
"Too much cursing, violence, and other stuff my parents do not want me to see." I answer. "Besides, are you a little young for that?"  
  
"No. Our dad said we can watch R-rated movies whenever we want, but he said that we cannot not repeat curse words we hear." Tuu explains.  
  
"O-kay." Pause. "How about we watch one of my own movies?"  
  
"You make movies?" they both ask.  
  
"Yes, but they are rated G through PG. Not R."  
  
Drew shrugs his shoulders, "We'll watch 'em."  
  
"Even though they're rated G and PG. We like those kind too." Tuu adds.  
  
I put in a video and we start watching it. They laugh. I laugh.  
  
"Raining Potatoes?" they both ask.  
  
I smile, "You'll see what happens."  
  
_[THE VIDEO:  
  
S C E N E 1---  
  
FADE OUT  
  
NARRATOR: One day it is raining water. A brother and sister sat by the window seal, sighing. They were bored.  
  
BROTHER: I'm so bored that I could do homework.  
  
SISTER: Wow! You will do homework? I never saw you do that before.  
  
BROTHER [Frown; looking at his sister]: Don't. That was just an expression, you doof!  
  
SISTER: Hey, would that be cool if it rained potatoes?  
  
BROTHER: [Sigh] Sis, it will never rain potatoes.  
  
SISTER: How would you know?  
  
BROTHER: Uh, duh, maybe I learnt it in Science class!  
  
SISTER: Bro, you don't even go to class, so how could you know?  
  
BROTHER: I go sometimes. Now, just leave me alone. I have to call my friend!  
  
[The brother got up and went to the phone.]  
  
SISTER: Why?  
  
BROTHER: Because... I just do, okay?  
  
[The sister turned her head back to the rain, pouring outside the window.]  
FADE IN  
  
S C E N E 2---  
  
FADE OUT  
  
NARRATOR: The next day, it was raining water again. Though not that much; just sprinkling. The sister is outside, playing in it.  
  
BROTHER: Sis, get back in here. You will catch a cold. And mom said I have to keep an eye on you!  
  
SISTER: No! You are not the boss of me!  
  
[The brother came out the door. The sister took of running]  
  
[Then a potato fell from the sky and hit the brother on the head.]  
  
BROTHER: Ow! I just hit in the head with a potato.  
  
[The sister laughs while running.] [A few more potatoes fell from the sky and hit the brother in the head again.]  
  
SISTER: Ha! Ha! You were hit in the head!  
  
BROTHER: Sis, let's go inside. It's raining potatoes, and I don't want you to get hurt!  
  
SISTER: I won't get hurt. It is just potatoes that you could eat. [She picked up one and bit into it.]  
  
SISTER: You are a frady cat anyway, Bro!  
  
BROTHER: I am not!  
  
SISTER [looks up on the roof]: People you can come down now! My brother is getting really scared.  
  
BROTHER: Hey, it was all a joke, wasn't it?  
  
[The sister started laughing, and then running. The brother chased after her.]  
  
[Everybody had thrown a potato into the sky and then the potatoes went splat on the ground!]  
  
FADE IN  
  
[[END VIDEO]]  
_  
"Whoa! Great video!" they both say and clap.  
  
"Who was all in the movie?" Drew asked.  
  
"My friend Joe, who played the brother, and my girlfriend Kari, who played the sister. My friend Jay and people from school had thrown the potatoes at them." I explain.  
  
"Could we watch other movie of yours?" Drew asked.  
  
"Yeah. That was really good!" Tuu said.  
  
I was about to put in another movie until mom came in with the phone. "It's Kari." She handed me the phone, then went out.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Todd, I can't see you anymore." Kari's voice sounds shaky.  
  
I get tears in my eyes. "But I don't understand. Did I do or say something wrong?"  
  
"No you didn't. Todd, I love you and you should know I want to see you, but I have no choice."  
  
"You have no choice. What does that mean?"  
  
"It means that I'm moving, because my father got transferred from his job." Kari starts to cry. I still have tears in my eyes.  
  
"When?"  
  
"About three or four days from now."  
  
"But I love you. You can't move." I cry.  
  
"Todd, could you come over so I could hold you in my arms for a few more days."  
  
"Sure. I'd do anything for you."  
  
"Thanks, Todd." She hangs up. I hang up.  
  
I stare for a second, and then I fall to my knees and start crying.  
  
Tuu and Drew come to me and ask, "You okay?"  
  
I didn't answer. I got up and headed downstairs.  
  
My mom stops me, "What's wrong, honey?"  
  
"Kari's moving."  
  
I hug mom. "My one and only girlfriend that I love is moving. Why? It can't be like this." I cry and then lift up.  
  
"I know how you feel. I'm sad for you. You have to be strong and believe that she will always be in your heart." Mom made me feel a little better. Is that what mom's are for though?  
  
"I'm going over to Kari's. Bye mom." I head out the door.

---------  
Later, Kari and I sit on the couch, bringing up memories. We laugh and cry until we fell asleep together on the couch. 


	6. get together & a thinking cloud

_NOTE sorry, I haven't updated in a while. I have been busy with birthday parties, friends and family. You know. So on with the chapter. It is a short chapter also. Sorry. Still good, right?_  
  
**CHAPTER 6 (present day) Get Together and A Thinking Cloud**  
  
The next day, Kari, Jay, me, mom, dad, Miranda, Aaron, Tuu, Drew, Lassi, uncle Matt and aunt Melina and their five-year-old son Dustin, even Joe came to my house to have a get-together party. We were playing video games, making jokes, having food fights, bringing up memories, and just having fun.  
  
I had my video camera on the tripod so all of us, including me, could act funny and crazy in front of the camera.  
  
"Hey, look at me!" Dustin says as he gets up on the back of the couch. "I can fly!" He jumps off and lands on his head. Everyone rushes to him.  
  
"Dustin, are you alright?" Melina asks, worrying.  
  
He keeps on crying and screaming. Poor little guy.  
  
Matt picks him up and tries to calm him.  
  
Dustin stops after three minutes.  
  
About 11:30am, we were jumping on the trampoline and doing tricks. I do a back flip and everyone was like, "Whoa! That is amazing! I could never do that!" Jay does a McTwist 300. It is the trick where you jump and do three spins. It's a made-up trick. Dustin does a front flip for the first time. Pretty good for a five-year-old. Joe jumps for a little while, and then he tires out. And I understand that, because I know he's sick and I just want him to get better. Please.  
  
After the trampoline, everyone were sitting on the outside porch, watching home movies. We laugh and cry until I decide to sing a song to Kari. Someone was recording it also.  
  
I start singing:  
  
"I close my eyes and I can see the day we met. Just one moment and I knew you're my girlfriend. Do anything for you."  
  
I start to get tears in my eyes.  
  
"We've gone so far and done so much. And I feel like we've always been together. Right by my side and through thick and thin. You're the part of my life I'll always remember."  
  
I stop and look at everyone with tears in my eyes. Kari looks somewhat sad and has tears in her eyes.  
  
"You've helped me find the strength inside. You make all my dreams come true. How will I find another girlfriend like you?"  
  
I point to Kari and she has tears rolling down her cheek.  
  
"Two of a kind, that's what we are. As our team is torn apart, I wish we could go back to the beginning.  
  
I go to Kari, kneel down on one knee and look up at her.  
  
"Who could've guessed that you and I somehow, someway we'd have to say goodbye?"  
  
I take Kari's hand and say, "Whenever I see the sunrise and sunset, I will always think of you."  
  
Those tears in my eyes were rolling down my cheek, one by one.  
  
Kari says, "Oh, Todd Thomas, you're so sweet. I'm going to miss you a lot. Why do I have to move? It is too early to go our separate ways. I love you!" She cries. I cry. Almost everyone does.  
  
She gets down on her knees and gives me a hug.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------  
  
The next day, Kari was at her house, packing. Packing, I do not even like that word. The others went home, and I was at home, thinking... Thinking about what I had on film all those months that Kari and I been together. Not to mention I had Jay, Joe, and I on film when we were younger also. Um... maybe I could create a video with words and music to show Kari and everyone before she leaves. Yeah, I will. It might take me all night, but it'll be worth it.  
  
I start to work on the video.  
  
--Later, mom and dad come up to my room and say, "Todd, dinner's ready."  
  
"I'll eat later. I'm busy."  
  
"What are you doing?" Dad asks.  
  
"Just thought it will be neat to put together a video and show it to Kari and everyone before she leaves." I explain.  
  
"That's great idea." Mom says.  
  
"What's it about?" Both of them ask.  
  
"It's about memories of Kari, me, my buds, and I guess everyone I know."  
  
"Well, we'll go and let you get back to work."  
  
They both walk out. I still have lots more to edit together.  
  
--  
  
12:28, midnight, I am still working on the last few clips. I could not stay awake any longer. However, I eat candy and drink some soda to keep awake.  
  
As I watch the clips, I get tears in my eyes. Duh.  
  
About 4am, I am totally finished. I think to myself, "Can't wait until everyone sees this. They are going to be amazed!" 


	7. oh, no!

CHAPTER 7 (present day) Oh, No!  
  
About 4:37am, I got in bed and went to sleep.  
  
I start to dream that I had a little brother:  
  
He screamed. I rushed to his room to see what was wrong. He kept on screaming. He was kicking and punching his fists into the air. Tears ran down his face while his eyes were closed. I walked to him, and sat at the edge of his bed. I reached over and shook him gently to wake him, but he didn't wake. He still had his eyes closed, and this time he was sweating terribly. I wondered if he was having a bad dream. If he were, then I would protect him. I'm his older brother; I have to care for him, and comfort him. I could tell him it's going to be okay. A few minutes later, he awoke frightened. He was still screaming and crying. I gave him a hug, and said softly, "It's alright. Don't cry. Brother is here." He lifted up off my shoulder and said through tears, "He's back." "Who's back?" I asked. He said shakily, "Freddy." "Freddy. As in Freddy Krueger?" I asked. He nodded. "Freddy's just a fictional character. He's not real." I explained. "But he is real. Look at this." He had lifted up his light blue pajama shirt, and I couldn't believe what I saw. He had scratches about two inches long on his stomach. I gasped, "How did you get those scratches on your stomach?" "I told you, Freddy did it." He said, crying. I just hugged him. Just then, he had lifted up off my shoulder again, and in a fearful voice, "He's here now." "Huh? What?" I wondered confused. "Watch out behind you!" He warned as he threw himself across me. The next thing I knew, my brother was lying very still on my lap. I was tearing up as I asked, "'Jake, can you hear me?" I shook him, but no answer. "Oh, God. This can't be! Jacob, please say something!" I cried. "It's true! It's true! Freddy is real!" I screamed. I love him. Why did he have to be the one? He was scared, and he had protected me; one and only brother that he loved.  
  
-------------------  
  
Someone was shaking me and saying my name repeatedly. "Todd, wake up, you sleepy head."  
  
"Huh? What?" I say, still with my eyes closed.  
  
"Are you getting up?" Mom asks.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"1:45. You've been sleeping almost all day."  
  
I jump out of bed. "1:45!" I say, grabbing the video that I made. "Mom, I gotta get to Kari's and show her this before she leaves!" I put on my shoes. I didn't even change out of my PJ's. Then I run out the door, hop on my bike, and head down to Kari's.  
  
I got to her driveway and no cars were there. Maybe her parents went to the store and Kari is home all alone. I tried to stay calm.  
  
I knock on the door. No answer. Then I go to the back door and found a note that reads: "Dear, Todd, I am so sorry that I did not even say goodbye to you today, but my dad had to leave early or he will get fired from that job. Todd, I miss you. I love you. I will always carry a picture of you with me. I will write you everyday. I probably will send you a videotape of me. You will always be in my heart. That's why I cry. 'Cause I miss you. Love, Kari."  
  
I take the note off the door and stare at it. Tears come pouring out of my eyes. I could not believe that my one and only girlfriend is gone. Gone from this town and to another.  
  
I ride back down the driveway and then to the park.  
  
I sit on the park bench where Kari and I had our first kiss. I sit there, thinking about all the memories that we shared. I cry.  
  
35 minutes later, Jay and Joe come up to me and ask, "Wanna play a game of basketball?"  
  
I just shake my head no.  
  
"What's the matter?" Joe says, softly.  
  
"Kari is gone from this town and to another."  
  
I could see that they have tears in their eyes. "We know how you feel, buddy." they both say.  
  
I cry. "It is just so sad to see her go away like this."  
  
"Yeah, it is." Jay says, sadly.  
  
"Yeah. I just hope I won't go away either." Joe says, crying.  
  
"Joe, don't talk like that." I say. "You're makin' me even more sad."  
  
"You will beat it." Jay gives a whole lot of hope and belief.  
  
"What if I don't?" Joe asks as he looks down.  
  
"You will. You have to believe. You cannot give up, Joseph." I say, softly.  
  
"Believe, Joe. That's all you have to do. And before you know it, you'll be all better." Jay says.  
  
All of the sudden Joe starts gasping for air. Jay and I were alarmed. "Joe, are you okay?!" we say, worrying.  
  
Joe reaches into his pocket and gets his inhaler. He breathes into in or something like that.  
  
Out of breath, Joe says, "Oops. I forgot to take my medicine for my asthma."  
  
I got a weird look on my face. "You have asthma?"  
  
"Yeah. You guys never knew?"  
  
"No." Jay and I answer.  
  
"Yes, you have. You guys can't fool me."  
  
"No, we didn't know." I say.  
  
"You didn't. I thought you guys knew. Sorry."  
  
Jay and I start cracking up laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" Joe asks.  
  
"We knew all the time. I just had to laugh at something funny." I explain.  
  
Joe just laughed.  
  
"Hey, Todd, what's that video?" they both ask.  
  
"It was for Kari, but she cannot watch it because she's gone."  
  
"Can we watch it?" Jay asks.  
  
"Sure. I guess. I mean, it was for everyone really."  
  
----  
  
We all were at my house, watching the video. (It was kind of like a slide show.) After, we were all crying.  
  
"That was great!" Jay says.  
  
"All your video's that you make are great!" Joe says.  
  
"Thank you." I say.  
  
---------------  
  
That night I hold the letter that Kari wrote, in my hands. I watch home videos of her, and my tears slowly roll down my cheeks.  
  
"You're gone away. I'm left alone. A part of me is gone. And I'm not moving on. So wait for me. I know the day will come. I'll meet you there. And wherever I go, you'll be right there with me. Forever you'll be right here with me."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----  
  
NOTE The lyrics, I'll Meet You There, aren't mine. They are by Simple Plan. And you know, Todd's video? (It's kinda like a slide show). Well, I am making a webpage- slide-show-type-thing of that. People that I know will be the characters. I even drew some characters. It is gonna be pretty cool, I think. But what will you think? I will let know when it's up. Ok? 


	8. monday

NOTE i did write the song, "Monday Morning".  
  
CHAPTER 8 (present day) Monday  
  
Monday morning  
  
I wake up knowing  
  
That today I start my life without you.  
  
We used to be two,  
  
Now we're not.  
  
Just one... (just one)  
  
Alone.  
  
But I forgot  
  
One thing...  
  
You're here  
  
When you're there  
  
With me... (with me).  
  
I thought we would never 'part.  
  
You will always be my sweetheart.  
  
You will always be in my heart.  
  
Though I still have a lonely heart.  
  
But I forgot  
  
One thing...  
  
You're here  
  
When you're there  
  
With me... (with me).  
  
Oh... yeah...  
  
You're here  
  
When you're there  
  
With me... (with me).  
  
Monday morning  
  
I wake up knowing  
  
That you're here with me (with me)...  
  
-------------  
  
At school, I talked very little to my friends. In periods one through three, I write a two-and-a-half page letter, to Kari.  
  
Then in period four, I was looking over the letter to see if I made any mistakes. Nathan, the bully who picks on me and sits behind me, saw the letter and takes it away from me.  
  
"Nathan, please give that back."  
  
"Aw! Does Toddy want his note back?" He says that loudly enough that everyone could hear, even the teacher. She comes over to us, "Boys, do you have a problem?"  
  
"No." we both say.  
  
"Nathan, what's that? A note?"  
  
"It's not mine; it's his." He points to me and hands me the letter.  
  
The teacher looks at me and says, "Todd, if you are going to write notes in my class, you must share it with everyone."  
  
"No. Please. Don't make me read it. Please." I give her the sad eyes.  
  
"All right, but the very next time, you have to read the note."  
  
An half-a-hour later, the bell sounded for period five. I go to my locker to get my Science book. Nathan walks up to me.  
  
"What do you want?" I say, looking away.  
  
"I just want to say I'm sorry."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, really." Pause. "Not!"  
  
"You idiot!" I say.  
  
"Don't call me that!"  
  
"I'm allowed. It's a free country!"  
  
"That's it." He says, with an expression that was mad.  
  
"What does that mean?" I ask.  
  
"I think you know." He makes a fist by his side.  
  
"Uh, uh, no. I don't wanna fight." I start to walk away.  
  
"Chicken. Frady cat. Todd's a chicken!"  
  
I just keep walking. I don't care what people say about me.  
  
"Kari is so stupid! She can't even tie her own shoes!"  
  
But when someone calls my friends, family, or girlfriend a name, I get pretty mad.  
  
I turn around and go to Nathan and ask, "Don't dis my girlfriend!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry that I said she was stupid... not!"  
  
"Shut up! She is not!" I say, then shove him against the lockers. "Do not ever dis Kari again!"  
  
"Okay, I will. She's stupid, she's stupid, she's so stupid!" I really think that he is just saying that because he just wants to start a fight.  
  
I punch him and made his nose bleed. Then we were both fighting each other.  
  
A crowd forms around us, cheering, "Fight, fight, fight!"  
  
Jay and Joe come to us and try to break us up. "Stop fighting!"  
  
"Please." Joe says.  
  
"Jay, Joe, just get out of here! I can handle this!" I push them on the ground. They look at me kind of sad and mad. They get up and walk away. I follow. "Guys, I'm-" Nathan jumps on my back and I fall to the floor. I get up and start fighting with him again.  
  
Then a teacher comes to us and says, "Todd Gordon and Nathan Blur, you are so busted!" They keep us away from each other. They take us to the office, where the principal was. The teacher explains what we were doing to him.  
  
"Fighting? Todd? Nathan?"  
  
We both shake our head yes.  
  
"But he started it." Nathan points to me.  
  
"No. He did."  
  
"It doesn't matter. You two are suspended for two weeks." He calls my parents, then Nathan's.  
  
---------  
  
When I get home from school at 3:30, my parents look at me, disappointed.  
  
"Todd Gordon, why did you get into a fight?" Mom asks.  
  
I didn't answer.  
  
"Todd, answer." Dad says.  
  
"Because I just did." I start to bust out in tears. "He was calling Kari names, and I just couldn't let him dis her like that, so I fought him. I miss Kari!"  
  
"We know how you feel, but you should know that fighting isn't the way to solve things." Dad says.  
  
"And you're going to be grounded for two weeks." Mom says. She didn't yell.  
  
"You can use the phone, but you can't see your friends either." Dad adds.  
  
"Why would I wanna use the phone? My friends hate me now."  
  
"What? They can't hate you. They're your friends." Dad says.  
  
"Why would they hate you?" Mom asks.  
  
"Because I sort of told them to get lost and I shoved them on the ground."  
  
"Todd, why?" they both ask.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I was so upset at Nathan that I wasn't thinking. I feel bad."  
  
"Honey, just say sorry and they will accept and before you know it, they won't be mad at you anymore." Mom makes a point.  
  
"Okay, I will. Thanks mom and dad." I hug them.  
  
I was about to go upstairs to my room, but then I stop and ask them a question, "Um, tomorrow's my birthday, and I was just wondering, am I going to even have a birthday party?"  
  
"Um, uh, yeah, you are." Mom says.  
  
"Really?"  
  
They both nod their head yes.  
  
"Just making sure."  
  
I head up to my room and think about some stuff. "My life's a mess, I think." 


	9. just another day

**CHAPTER 9 (PRESENT DAY) Just Another Day**  
  
Today's my birthday. Today I turn another year older. Though I don't want to yet, because Kari's not here. I lie in bed, thinking. I just don't want to get up. I just wish to lie here and make life go backwards, so I can see Kari everyday and Joe didn't have cancer. But I cannot and I know life is not like that. I wish someone could invent a time machine to the past and future. That'd be really cool.  
  
I get out of bed to call Jay and Joe on three-way.  
  
"Guys, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry. Are you?"  
  
Silence at the other ends.  
  
"You there?" I ask.  
  
"We forgive you," they both say.  
  
"So, do you want to come to my birthday party around 5:00?" I ask. Mom and dad said that I could see them at the party, then not for the rest of the two weeks.  
  
"Well, duh!" they both say. "Yeah!"  
  
"Okay. I should let you guys go. I'm sure you don't wanna be late for school." I say.  
  
"I can be late. Hold on and let me ask." Jay says.  
  
I hear Jay, "Hey, mom, can skip school today?"  
  
I hear his mom, "Jason Alexander Troy, what are you thinking?! No, you may not skip school!"  
  
I hear Jay say, "Oh, you're no fun. I bet you skipped school when you were my age."  
  
His mom says, "Yes, I admit that I have, but I certainly didn't ask my parents if I could."  
  
"Jay, are you hyper?" I ask.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"What makes you hyper? Different people get hyper from different things, besides sugar." Joe asks and explains.  
  
"Well, I ate a lot of fruit, so I think that made me hyper." Explains Jay.  
  
Joe asks, "Fruit makes you hyper?"  
  
"I didn't know that. Of all the years we've been friends, I did not know that." I say.  
  
"Hey, Todd, um, ask your parents if you could have your party at McDonalds." Jay says.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I want to play in the ball-pin. Plus, we can look back at the memories we had there when we were younger."  
  
"Okay, let me ask."  
  
I call for them, "Mom, dad, come here quick!"  
  
Both of them run into my room, saying, "What? What? What happened?!"  
  
"Can I have my party at McDonalds?"  
  
"Why?" they both ask.  
  
"To look back at the memories." I explain.   
  
Dad shrugged, then looked over at mom.  
  
"Well, I guess. Yes." Mom says.  
  
I put the phone up to my ear again and say, "Yes!"  
  
"Okay. I'll be there at 5. See ya. I have to go to school. Happy birthday." Joe says and then hangs up.   
  
"I have to go too. The bus is honking at me. Happy birthday." Jay says and then hangs up.   
  
My parents both come to me and hug me, then say, "Happy birthday, Todd!"   
  
I look up at them and ask, "At what time was I born this day?" I never knew.  
  
Mom smiled, "You were born at 2:51pm."  
  
I sighed, "Kari won't see me turn 15."   
  
"Oh, that reminds me." Mom says, then went out of the door. 20 seconds later, she returns with a gift. "Here."  
  
I open it. It was a package from Kari. "I can't believe it. I try to hold back my tears. I'm tired of crying. I just have to get the fact that she's there, not here. Though I still miss her.  
  
I open the package that had photos of her visiting different places in...  
  
"Cleveland, Ohio!" I read in her letter that she sent also.   
  
"I'm in the west and she's in the east coast. We're in different places and a long, long distance away from each other." I say to my parents.  
  
They tell me it'll be okay to cry, so I do.  
  
Her letter ends: "Hope you have a great birthday. I wish that I was there, or you could be here with me."  
  
-------  
  
At 5:10pm, my parents and I arrived at McDonalds. We had told other family members that we would be there at 5, but they were nowhere to be found. Neither were Jay or Joe. Wonder where they could be? Maybe they're running late?   
  
Then when I was about to go outside to the ball-pin, I hear people singing: "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Todd. Happy birthday to you. And many more until you're 184!"  
  
And there they were, standing behind the work counter.  
  
I cover my face with my hands and say, "You guys are embarrassing me." I think my face was turning red.   
  
My mom and dad come in with a cake and sits it on the counter.   
  
"But how did you get the cake?" I ask, confused.  
  
"There's a cake place across the street." They answer.  
  
"Oh. That's where you went."  
  
Everyone says, "Make a wish."  
  
I got my cheeks filled with air and made a wish while blowing out the candles.  
  
"What'd you wish for?" Jay asks. He was kind of hyper.  
  
My quick reply is, "I cannot tell you or it won't come true."   
  
I go up and almost get a piece of cake until Joe steps in and says, "Let me get a piece for you."   
  
"Thanks, Joe."  
  
"Don't mention it, but..." He has a piece on a plate, in his hands. He acts as if he was going to give it to me, but he doesn't; he puts it in my face. He laughs.  
  
"Joe," I pick cake up with my hands. "You're going to get a piece in your face."  
  
He runs.  
  
Jay throws cake at me. I turn around and go over to him. "Jay, I have something to tell you."   
  
"What?"  
  
"Here." I put the cake his face.  
  
I yell, "Cake fight!"  
  
Everybody grabs cake and start throwing it at everyone and me.  
  
--After that, Jay, Joe, Dustin, and me play in the ball-pin.  
  
"Happy birthday, Todd!" They all yell as they tackle me.  
  
I didn't get any presents because I asked for none. Presents aren't the only thing you should enjoy. You should enjoy having fun with friends and family. Birthdays are a day of thanking your parents for bringing you into this world, for a reason.   
  
I'll say my best birthday ever is this one. Even though Kari was not here, she'll still be in my heart. I had the best day of my lfe!  
  
_** chapter 10 coming soon**_


	10. nathan's party

_[ ] -these things, if words are in them, they are NOT Todd's point of view._

**CHAPTER 10 (present day) Nathan's Party**

I've been back in school for the passed four weeks. Kari had and I had sent letters to each other. Our letters were about missing each other, school, friends, family, funny and other stuff. We even talk on the phone, but not that much because it's long distance.

Joe's in the hospital getting Chemo again. He is getting a little better, and I hope that he will keep getting better, then the cancer would be gone and we all can say, "Joe, you believed. You beat it, buddy!" I hope.

I just want my life to be the same again, without Joe being sick and with Kari here right by my side. I wish when I count to ten I could make everything wonderful again.

---------

Jay and I are walking to class until Nathan stops us. "Hey, guys."

I say, "Nathan, I do not wanna fight."

"No. I don't want to fight you. Why should I? I just want to ask you if you wanted to come to my friend, Cody's party tonight at 8. Do you?"

"Huh?" Jay and I say.

"Why are you asking us?" I ask.

"Because, Todd, I think you're cool."

"Why?"

Jay jumps in, "Hey, what about me? Am I cool?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Jake." Nathan says to Jay.

"Jay. It's Jay."

"Oh, whatever!" Nathan says. He turns to me, "Why, you ask? Because you didn't run away when I fought you. You were brave. I never knew you could be that way."

"Oh. Though I don't know if could go to that party."

Nathan comes toward me, "You chicken?"

"No. It's just my parents will not let me." I explain.

"Just sneak out your bedroom window. That's what I do all the time."

"But I will get caught. I know I will."

"If you think that, just tell your parents that you're going to spend the night at your friend, Jake's house."

"It's Jay, not Jake! Why do you think that?" Jay asks Nathan.

"Whatever!" Nathan answers.

"I might go, but you have to let Jay come too?"

Nathan sighs, "Okay. I'll let Jake come."

"Jay. It's Jay. J-A-Y! Jay. How many times do I have to say it? It's Jay I say!"

"Whatever!" Nathan says, and then adds, "Well, I gotta go. And I really hope you guys come?" He's says walking down the hallway.

Jay yells, "It's Jay! Stands for Jason! Not Jake!"

"Whatever!" Nathan yells down the hallway.

"Hey, Jake, I'm going to class. See you." I start to laugh.

"It's Jay, not Jake! You're driving me insane!"

I walk off, going to class. "Whatever!"

I hear Jay yell, "It's Jay I say," over and over again until it fades when I walk into class.

----------

Around six, it was dinner. My parents and I were all sitting at the table, eating: chicken, green beans, corn, potatoes, and a biscuit. Yum. My favorite. I could have that for dinner everyday, but no. My parents would get tired of it, but I wouldn't. Yum-yum good.

I ask, "Mom, dad, may I spend the night at Jake's?"

They look at me like I was nuts, "Who's Jake?"

I start to laugh. "It's Jay. Someone else was calling him that, so I called him that." I laugh more. "You should heard him say, 'it's Jay I say!'. It was funny!"

They both laugh.

"Now, why you want to spend the night with Jay?" Dad asks.

"He wants me to help him on a History report. Can I?" I lie.

"But it's a school night."

"I know, but the report's due tomorrow." I hate to lie, but I want to.

They have a little talk.

Mom says, "You may, but you have to go to bed early or you'll be tired in the morning, for school."

"I will."

--After dinner, dad ran me over to Jay's, in the car.

He tells me to behave, not misbehave. Then he leaves to go home.

Jay asks his mom, "Mom, can Todd and I go to Mike's to spend the night?" Mike was his cousin.

She thought for a minute, "Well, I guess. Be sure to get rest for school."

"Could we drive the 4-wheeler over there? It's only like 20 blocks."

"Alright. Wear helmets though."

Yes! She totally bought it. Jay is a good liar.

We go outside, put our helmets on, and hop on the 4-wheeler. I was on the back and Jay was driving. When he starts it up, it doesn't make a sound. We take off to Cody's house.

--When we get to Cody's, we park the 4-wheeler in the backyard, then go up to the front door and knock.

Nathan and Cody answer.

Nathan says, "I didn't think you would show."

"Yep, we did show." Jay and I say.

"Come on in and join the party that has no parents." Cody says.

"Cool!" Jay goes inside.

I step inside and I see all the people staring at me.

"Now the party can really began because Todd and Jay is here!" Nathan says to the people, and they cheer.

Someone puts on some loud music and everyone dancing and acting funny. I was thirsty, so I go to the kitchen and see a punch bowl with some punch in it, on the counter. I get a cup that was sitting by it, and pour me some. I taste it. It's good. Who made it? It was so good that after I had my first cup, I get more.

_NOT TODD'S POINT OF VIEW-[At about 11:36, Jay's mom wanted to check on Jay, so she dialed Mike's number. Mike answered. Jay's mom told him to get Jay. Mike said that Jay wasn't there. She hung up. "Where could he be?" she thought. She got out the address book and called everyone she'd knew to see if he was there.]_

-

I was on the table, dancing and singing. I feel dizzy. But how? I didn't have any beer. I jump off the table and say to the people, "There's a car in the kitchen!"

Everyone looks at me, with weird expressions, "Huh?"

"A dog drove it in there!" I say, acting crazy.

"Right! Expect us to believe that!" Someone says.

"Are you having fun, Jay?" I try walk to him.

"Yeah. Are you drunk?"

"No. I don't think so. I didn't have any beer, just punch." I couldn't see and walk straight. I was bumping into people, and tripping over the rug.

"How many cups did you have?"

I fall on the floor, on my face. "Ow! About 25, I guess. How the hell should I know? But it was so good!"

"Todd, I heard someone talking about the punch. They put beer in it."

"So. I see pretty colorful stars on the wall." I say. My head was spinning. "It was still good."

_NOT TOOD'S POINT OF VIEW- ["Wonder if he's over Cody's? I doubt it, but it won't hurt to try." Jay's mom thought.]_

-

"I see Barney and Babybop. Oh, a rubber ducky, a fruit loop, a turd, and honey comb." I do not know what I'm saying.

I see Jay shake his head, "You're retarded when you're drunk!"

"Sweet Tarts? Did you just say that?" I ask, still lying on the floor.

I hear everyone laugh.

"You know, Todd, I never seen you like this. You gotta come to parties more often." Nathan says.

"I will. This is cool!" I say. I hear the phone ring and that gives me a headache. "Someone get that," I say slowly.

"The phone's right beside you, retard!" Jay says and laughs.

"Sweet Tarts! I want some." I say, the pick up the phone upside down and i say, "This is Barney. May I take your order?" I pretend to use Barney's voice.

Person says, "Is Jay there?"

"Hold on. Jake's here." I hand the phone to Jay.

"It's Jay, not Jake!" He says, then answer it, "Hello?"

I hear that person yell through the phone, "Jason Troy, you're in deep trouble! Get back here right now! I mean it too or you'll be in even more trouble if you don't!" I think everyone could hear them.

I see Jay hang up the phone. I looks shocked and scared. He says, "Todd, we have to go!"

"I don't have to go. Why would I go with you?"

"Not to the bathroom, you retard! My house!"

"Sweet Tarts! Please buy me some!" I plead.

I hear everyone laugh.

Jay helps me stand up. I wave bye to the people. "Bye. See you all later! I see dead people!"

Five minutes later, Jay gets me outside and on the back of the 4-wheeler. He puts his helmet on and then mine for me.

I say, "No! I don't want this damn helmet on me! It's stupid!" I throw it and it hits Jay in the head. He says, "Ow!" He puts in back on my head. He hops on the 4-wheeler and takes off fast as a rabbit.

I take off my helmet again. "Retarded helmet! This is for losers!" I throw it out in front of the 4-wheeler. Jay hits it and it makes him lose control.

We're going all over the place until the 4-wheeler goes on two wheels. It flips back and both of us fall off. I land on the ground. I don't know where Jay landed. I can't move. I try to move though, to get out of the way. I'm so scared. I'm hoping that Jay will help me. I hope that he's not hurt. I see the 4-wheeler roll and fall on me. Everything goes black!

TO BE CONTINUED...

_Author Note: Grrrr!!! Writer's block on chapter 11! I don't know how to start it. I really have the title chosen, "Two T's (trouble and tears)". If you guys have any ideas, please share them with me. Or email me your ideas at: I will really like if you do. Thanks.___


	11. is this heaven or hell?

_NOTE- Ok, I didn't use the other title I had chosen. That's all right. And sorry so short._

**CHAPTER 11 (PRESENT DAY) Is This Heaven or Hell?**

I feel like I'm in a black hole, spinning at major speeds. I don't know where either. I'm just spinning until I land on something soft, not hard. "Where am I? What happened?" I thought.

A voice comes to me, "I could tell you where you're at?"

"Huh? Who are you?" I ask. My eyes are blurry. I can't see.

"You are in Heaven." They pause. "I'm God."

I just stare. "But what happened?"

"Oh, it'll come to you sometime, and you'll know." They say, then walk away.

I get up and start to look around. Is this really Heaven? Am I in a whole new world?

I see a white light. What is it? I go closer to it. "Wow!" I say. It was an angel. I go and try to tap them on the shoulder, but my hand went right through. "Whoa! That was weird. Wonder if I'm an angel too?"

The angel turns around. I guess they heard me. "Indeed, you are."

I smile and then frown, "But I'm not ready to become an angel yet."

"You should've thought about that first." The angel says.

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah you did. You went to that party."

"What party?"

"The one boy you fought invited you."

"What boy?" I scratch my head.

"Nathan Blur."

"Who's that?" I am confused.

"You don't remember?"

"Huh? No."

"He was the bully who picked on you." The angel explains.

"What? I don't remember."

"Do you remember anything?"

"Uh, no. Nothing. Zip."

We were both very quiet for a minute.

I ask, "If I did something wrong, why am I in Heaven and an angel?" Pause. "Just wondering."

"That's right."

"It is?"

"You can't be in Heaven. You should be in Hell." The angel explains. They take me to a door.

"Where does that door go to?" I ask.

"You'll see." They open it and kick me into it.

I'm spinning at major speeds, in a black hole, again. I do not know where that angel sent me. Where? I wonder until I land on something hard and hot.

I yell, "Ow! This ground is hot!"

Then I see someone or something puff out of a cloud of fire. "Duh! The ground is hot, because you're in Hell!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Devil. Who did you think I was?" They ask in a mean tone of voice.

"Don't know, but why are you mean?"

"That's my job. I could tell people who did bad things what to do." They point to me, "Like you." They give a evil laugh.

"I didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes you did."

"No."

"Do you have a short time memory?" They ask me.

I just shrug my shoulders.

"Well, you went to a party and drank to much."

"So."

"So? So you're going to be doing a lot of slaving for me."

"I don't think so." I fold my arms.

"Don't talk to the Devil like that, mister! I'm now your boss!"

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, right!"

They pick me up by their hands and threw me against the wall, hard. I fall to the ground, crying and screaming. They scare me.

I see them about come toward me, but I hear someone say...

---------------

"Todd! Todd, you're alive! What's the matter?"

I lie there, crying and screaming, then open my eyes a little. "Huh? Where am I? How long have I been here?" I say slowly and weakly.

"You've been at the hospital since eight hours."

"Hospital? This isn't Hell?"

"No. Todd, do you remember what happened?"

"Who's Todd? Who are you?" I ask.

"You are Todd. I'm Jay, you're friend."

"I do not know a Todd or Jay." I point, "Who are they?"

"I'm your mother."

"I'm your father."

"I'm your uncle, Matt."

"I'm your aunt, Melina."

"I'm your cousin, Dustin."

"I'm your grandfather."

"I'm your grandmother."

I hear them all cry.

"I don't know you people." I say.

[LIZZIE WALKS TO TODD.] "Honey, please remember." I see her cry.

"Remember what?"

[JAY ASKS,] "How old are you?" [JUST TO SEE IF HE KNEW.]

I thought for a minute. "I don't know, because I don't know how to count."

"Do you remember anything at all?"

I shake me head no.

I look around, "Everything is blank inside my mind."


	12. please remember

_NOTE- I'm very sorry if this chapter will be a snooze to you. I didn't have anything else to write about for this chapter. But the next one won't be a snooze, I think._

**CHAPTER 12 (PRESENT DAY) Please Remember**

I hear and see someone come running in the room, yelling, "Todd! Todd! Todd, you okay?"

I left my head up off the pillow and say, "Who are you?"

They come to me, "I'm Joe, your friend."

I shake my head. "No. I don't know a Joe."

Then I hear someone ask that person, "Joe, how did you hear?"

"Well, I was in my room and I heard the nurses talk about some teenager. I wondered who it was? I asked and they told me. I was shocked. I was scared. I had to struggle with the nurses to let me come down here, because they wouldn't go."

"Oh."

I hear that one person, Jay, who says that he's my so-called friend, "Joe, he can't remember anything. Do you know how we could get him to remember?"

"I don't know."

"You, the smart guy, doesn't know."

"Wait," [Joe paused.] "Maybe we can get out the memory book to trace his memory back. Get it? Memory. Book."

I hear everyone laugh. "We get it."

[Jay says,] "You know, Joe, even though you're smart, you're still very funny." [He laughs.]

[Joe laughs.]

Later, everyone gathers around and shows me the memory book that they were talking about.

"There are a lot of pictures and creative stuff in here. Who made this book?" I ask.

"We all did, including you." Everyone says.

"You mean that we all made this book? But it's not published, like an authors." I scratch my head.

[Joe says,] "No, it doesn't get published. It's a memory book made from pictures and scraps. A memory book is something to create when you're bored or just want to scrap with a couple of friends, and look back on the fun things you did."

"Oh. But who's that on the potty?" I ask, pointing to a picture.

[Lizzie and Gordo come over to Todd. Lizzie says,] "That's you, Todd when you first got potty trained." I see them both smile.

I look at the book. I see a group picture of people, but don't know who they are. "Who are those people?"

[Jay and Joe say,] "Us and you."

"Who are you guys again?" I ask.

"Jay, your friend."

"Joe, your friend."

"So, you are Joe." I point to one.

He shakes his head yes.

"And you are…" I pause. _I close my eyes and think. Inside my mind, I see that person who I can't remember, playing basketball, then I come up and say, "Hi. Do you wanna play a game?" They say, "Sure. Your name is?" I say, "Todd Gordon." They say, "Nice to meet you. I'm Jason Troy, but everyone calls me Jay." _I open my eyes.

"You are Jason Troy, but are called Jay, right?"

"Yes. That is right." He says in an exciting voice.

I continue looking at the book, "Who's that and that?"

[Lizzie and Matt says,] "Us."

"I'm Lizzie, you mother."

"I'm Matt, your uncle."

I stare at the picture and then look at them. "What? That can't be you guys. You guys are old, and you're young in the picture."

[Lizzie says,] "Thanks a lot, Todd!"

"Yeah. Thank you." [Matt says.]

"For what?"

"For calling us old!" They both say.

[Matt says,] "Hold on. I'm the youngest. And you're the oldest, Lizzie. You are old, not me."

[Lizzie sighs,] "Thank you, Matt."

"You're welcome." [Matt grins.]

"Hold up." I say. "You are my uncle, Matt, right?"

"Right."

"Who's my aunt? Who's my cousin? Or are you married?"

[Melina steps in,] "I'm Melina."

[Dustin says,] "I'm Dustin, your cuz."

I point to her, "And you are…" I pause. I close my eyes and see her taking care of me, saying no to me, making things clear to me. I open my eyes.

"You're Lizzie, but I just call you mom."

My mom just shakes her head yes.

"Wait, who's my dad? Or are you married still?" I ask mom.

[Gordo says,] "I am your dad."

"Oh. But you are…" I close my eyes and see him doing all the stuff that mom does for me. Then I see him fighting with mom and leaves her with me. I open my eyes.

"I have no dad, do I?"

"Yes, you do. I'm him."

"Yeah right! You left mom! Who's my step-dad? Or do I even have one?" I ask in a mean tone.

"Huh?" everyone says.

"What're you talking about?" He asks.

"He did leave me, but we got back together. You do remember, don't you?" Mom asks.

I close my eyes again, and this time I see him talking to mom inside a pizza place. He gets down on his knees and says that he would like to marry her again. I open my eyes.

I sit there. "I do remember, but just bits of pieces of it." I smile, then start to get tears in my eyes.

"Who am I?" he asks.

"You're my dad, Gordo." I say. "And I hope you and mom will stay together forever."

I hear and see someone come running in the room, yelling, "Todd! Todd, you all right?"

"Huh?" I get a questionable expression on my face.

"How did you get here?" Jay asks. "I thought you were in Ohio." Joe says.

"I was, but my father hated the job so he quit and we moved back."

"How did you know Todd was here?" Jay asks her.

"Well, we just got back and I was going to go over there to see him. A neighbor outside said that he wasn't there; he was at the hospital. I was shocked. I told my parents and they drove me here."

I left off my pillow and ask, "Who are you?"

"I'm Kari."

"Kari? I don't know if I know you. Hold up." I close my eyes, and see her and I together. When we were goofing around, when we were laughing, when we first dated, when both of us had our first kiss. I know. I open my eyes.

"I know. You are Kari, my girlfriend." I smile, and begin to remember why I haven't seen her for about four weeks now. "I'm so glad that you're back, to stay, right?"

"Right! Right by your side." She says to me.

I smile.


	13. wonderful again

**CHAPTER 13 (PRESENT DAY) Wonderful Again?**

Three weeks later, I'm out of the hospital, and grounded for two months. It really sucks! Though I guess that I deserved it. I snuck out to a party. What was I thinking? I guess that I felt that I had to, because of Nathan, a bully and popular guy. But I learned my lessons: never go to a party that has no parents, and never drink punch that has alcohol in it. It'll get you drunk, like I was.

I've got my memory back somewhat all the way. I can remember people and other things.

I'll say that it's about time for mom, because she keeps having false alarms. I'll say any day now.

Kari and I are going our own ways for a while. She says that she needs a break from me. Plus, with Joe having cancer, she cannot handle two things at once.

Joe's getting better and I hope he will keep getting better. I don't want the cancer to backfire and he'll be sick again. That would be terrible. Please get all better, Joe.

And mom and dad are fighting. I guess because of mom's mood swings and dad's work is too stressful. I just guess. What else is there for them to fight? I just hope that they won't get divorced again.

"I'm bored. Really, really bored." I say, kicking back on the couch.

"You should've thought about that." Mom says.

"Mom, How could've I known that the punch had alcohol in it?"

"Maybe the taste. And don't you get an attitude with me, young man!"

"I'll get an attitude if I want to!"

"Todd Thomas Gordon, you better get rid of that attitude."

I fold my arms, "What are you gonna do about it? Ground me for another two months?"

"No, but if you..." she paused because she had a pain.

My eyes widen. I lose my attitude. "Mom, you okay?"

She breathes slowly. "I think it's time."

"For sure?"

She sits down on the couch. She just laughs. "It was just a joke."

"Just a joke? Mom, that was so freaky for me that I almost felt like panicking and running around in circles." I panic.

"Todd, Todd, calm down. I just did that because I knew that you would lose your attitude." Pause. "And if I ever go into the real thing when it's just you here, you don't have to panic, just call dad and he'll be right over."

I start to smile, but then I get a frown on my face. "Mom, what if it's not okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's been over nine months. Is it going be okay with you?" I get tears in my eyes.

"Todd, I know you're worried. I am and dad is too. But the best thing is to not talk about it and just go through with it."

I shake my head. "My life is a living nightmare." I cry.

"Now why do you say that?"

"Because my friend still has cancer; my girlfriend said that she wants some time alone; my mom, you are making me worried; my parents, you and dad are fighting and I don't want you guys to get a divorce again." I explain.

"Come here," Mom says slowly. "Sit down."

She says, "I know you're sad. I am too. Dad and I aren't going to get a divorce. We love each other very much."

"Whatever!" I cry. I get up and run upstairs to my room.

I sit on my bed, thinking about my life. I grab a pen and piece of paper and start writing my thoughts and feelings. I begin to write:

_I'm writing this because I have nothing better to do. Everything in my life is such a mess. My friend, Joe has cancer. He's getting better and I hope he'll keep getting better, so he won't have cancer anymore. Though what if it backfires. I mean it would come back. I am afraid to think about it. My girlfriend, Kari said that she needs a break from me. She said that she couldn't handle two things at once, like Joe having cancer, and me. I feel pretty sad and mad. But I know it's just a break and we be back together soon, or I hope so. My mom is pregnant and it's been over nine months and still she hasn't had it. I'm worried. I hope nothing is going to happen to her. I just can't live if my mom is sick too, like my friend. I see my parents fight. I hear them scream. They say bad words that make me want to cry. The last time they did that, they got divorced and I was only eight. Now I'm fifteen, a teenager. They can't get divorced now. I'm almost grown. Oh, yeah. I guess that they could. Everyone has his or her own choice to make. It's not the kid's decision; it's the parents. But I do not want them ever to get a divorce again. I will regret it for the rest of my life. I will probably run away and never come back. I'll probably run to a different state. I just can't see them not seeing each other again, and I hope they will stay together forever. _

_Now here are my real feelings and thoughts: I hate my life. I love my life at the same time. I'm so confused. I'm so hurt. I'm so mad. I'm so sad. I'm so glad. I have mix feelings. My life is so confusing. I just don't know what I'm going to do. My life was perfect before all of these things happening to friends, parents, and me. I bury my face into the pillow and cry. Sometimes I wish I would just die. But I want to live. Though I can't deal with the pain. I am so confused. I want my life to be the same, just like it used to be, and everything would be wonderful again. I wish that could happen. I don't know if it will. But I hope. Like I said before, I can't deal with the pain. _

_ Sincerely, Todd._

After I wrote the letter, I make a music video about my thoughts and feelings.

Later at 2:47am and when I was asleep, I hear screaming. I get up and see what's happening. I go to the last step on the stairs, and I see my mom and dad screaming and cursing at each other. I get tears in my eyes. I'm quiet for a minute, and then I say out loud, "See. I think you guys are going to get a divorce, because the last time you fought like that you did. And I just can't handle it! My life's just a nightmare! Goodbye!"

I run up to my room. I get a backpack and stuff clothes in it. I put the backpack strap on my shoulders. I get out my note and write a P.S.: _I'm running away. I don't know where to, but I'll find somewhere and stay. I'll live on the street if I have to. I just can't handle my life. I hate my life right now. I'm gonna run away and start a new life. Goodbye! Please tell my friends I'll miss them. I'll miss you too mom and dad. But I'm doing what I have to do. Running away. Love, Todd._

I put the note and the video that I made on my desk. I put a little sticky note on the desk also that reads: Read and watch. It's important.

I open my window and climb down the fence looking thing down the siding. And then off I went.

[NOT TODD'S POINT OF VIEW]:

Lizzie and Gordo come running in Todd's room.

"Todd?"

"What's this?" Gordo asks himself as he picks up the note and video.

"What's what?" Lizzie says, crying.

"It's a note from Todd." Gordo reads the note out loud.

After he had read it, he had tears in his eyes, ready to cry. Lizzie was already crying.

"What's the video about?" Gordo asks himself as he puts in the VCR. They both watch it.

THE VIDEO (TODD'S SINGING):

_I close my eyes when I get too sad_ [He covers his eyes.]

_I think thoughts that I know are bad_ [He thought, "My life sucks! I wish I could go somewhere that I cannot be bothered!"]

_Close my eyes and I count to ten_ [He closes his eyes and counts.]

_Hope it's over when I open them _

_I want the things that I had before_

_Like everyone is all better, standing at my door _[He shows a picture of His parents, Joe, Kari,Jay, and himself.]__

_I wish I could count to ten_

_Make everything be wonderful again _[He gets down on his knees and prays.]

_Hope my mom and I hope my dad_

_Will figure out why they get so mad _

_Hear them scream, I hear them fight _[He shows a video clip where they were fighting.]__

_They say bad words that make me wanna cry _[He wipes a tear from his eye.]

_Close my eyes when I go to bed _

_And I dream of angels who make me smile _[He says, "I wish that when I was in the hospital, I could've died and have a great life in Heaven with the angels."]

_I feel better when I hear them say_

_Everything will be wonderful someday _["I don't have to worry."]

_Promises mean everything when you're little_ [He shows clips when he was little.]

_And the world's so big_ [He shows pictures of the world and himself.]

_I just don't understand how _[He shrugs his shoulders.]

_You can smile with all those tears in your eyes _

_Tell me everything is wonderful now_

_Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now_

_["Let me find out for myself."]_

_I go to school and I run and play_ [He shows clips the he is having fun at school.]

_I tell the kids that it's all okay_

_I laugh a lot so my friends won't know_ [He shows clips that he is laughing with his friends.]

_When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home_ [No! No way!]

_Go to my room and I close my eyes_ [He closes his eyes.]

_I make believe that I have a new life_ [He thought, "I wish I could **_have_** a new life instead of this one."]

_I don't believe you when you say_

_Everything will be wonderful someday _[He shakes his head no.]

_I don't wanna hear you say_

_That I will understand someday_ ["I will **_understand_** someday."]

_I don't wanna meet your friends_

_And I don't wanna start over again_ ["I do not ever want to start all over again."]

_I just want my life to be the same_ ["Same. That's it."]

_Just like it used to be_

_Some days I hate everything_ ["Somedays I do."]

_I hate everything_

_Everyone and everything_

_Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now..._

_I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now _["No, no!"]

_"Please let me find out on my own."_

END VIDEO

Lizzie hugs Gordo. "I want my baby boy back! I love him. Why didn't he come to us if he felt this way?" She cries.

Gordo hugs and just to calm her. "It's all right. We'll find him." He cries too.

They were sad because their son were missing.


	14. who's fishstix?

**_NOTE-I put myself in the story. Fishstix isn't my real last name, but it's a nickname. I don't live in California, but it's fun to pretend. I'm 17 right now. But in this story I am going to be a little older. In 2015, I'll be 28._**

**CHAPTER 14 (PRESENT DAY) Who's Fishstix?**

I take a train to San Francisco. I say that's the farthest I'll go. I only brought a little money with me. On the train, I write in my notebook that I had brought with me also. I write: _I'm feeling better now. I'm not at home, and I don't have to worry that much. I'm running away to San Francisco, because I think it's a cool and great place, even though I never been there. I don't care if I live on the streets and eat out of the trash. I don't have to worry, because I'm on my own. Maybe I will get a job somewhere, like a busboy job, and make money. I'll make a living._

I was asleep for about three hours, but then someone wakes me up. "Sorry, sir, but it this seat taken?"

I yawn. "No." They look like they are about 17 or 20.

"Thank you." They sit down. "You are?"

"Todd Gordon."

"Hi. I'm Brandy Fishstix."

"Nice to meet you," we both say.

"So, why are you on a train?" I ask.

"My parents, brother, and I are going to visit my grandma." She explains. "Why are you?"

"I'm running away."

"Why? What'd you do? I'm just wondering. I don't want to sound rude."

"Nothing. It's just..." I pause. "Nevermind. I bet you don't wanna hear it."

"Sure I do. I won't tell anyone, and I will not make fun of you."

"Well, because my friend has cancer, my girlfriend needed a break from me, my parents are fighting, and I cannot deal with it anymore. My life's a nightmare!" I explain.

"Whoa! Did you just say your friend had cancer? Is he Joseph Tuuluutoo?"

"Yes. But how did you know?" I get a weird expression on my face.

"He used to be my next door neighbor when he was five or six." she explains. "I can't believe that he had cancer. I just found out four weeks ago."

"Huh? Do you go to Midland school?" I ask.

"I did, but I graduated in 2006. Now I'm 28 and still in collage, studing film making."

"You don't look 28. You look about 19."

"Thanks. Though when I was 16, everyone thought I was 12 or 14." She laughs.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" I ask.

"You're too young for me, kiddo."

"Darn!" I say to myself.

"Plus I do have one. His name is David Gordon."

I sit there looking shocked. Then I look out the window, "My dad's a liar!"

"Are you saying that you are his son?"

I turn around, "Yes, and guess what? He, who's my dad has a wife!"

"That's why your last name sounded so familiar. And he didn't say that he had a wife or a son. He just said that he was single."

"That's probably why he said he was going to work overtime, to see you! He is such a no-good-jerk of a liar!" I am so mad right now. I thought running away would make me feel better, not madder. "I hate him! Why and how would he do that to mom? I just hate him!"

"Now, you shouldn't hate him forever. I know you're mad at him. I am too, now. How could he say that he's not married and doesn't have a kid?!" She pauses. "The point is even though I'm going to be mad him forever, doesn't mean you should be. He's your dad and couldn't hate him forever."

"You just don't understand. They had been together for almost 15 years, and now it's going to be over, just because my dad acted like a jerk!" I can't hold back my tears so I cry. "And because of him, I bet when my new baby brother or sister is born, they won't have a father to see!"

"Now that is sad. How could men be such jerks and cheat on their wifes? Even worse, How could they cheat if they have a child and one on the way?"

I shake my head. "I don't know, but I know one thing: when I grow up, get married, and kids of my own, I will never ever cheat on my wife or make my kids mad at me. I do not want to end up like my father." I cry and stare out the window again.

"Hey, do you really want to run away, because of all of this?" she asks me.

"Yes."

"Because if you didn't, I'd be gladly to take you home when we get finished visiting my grandma for a few days."

I think for a minute. "Okay, I changed my mind. I want to go back home. I want to have a talk with my dad. I can't believe him."

"Yeah, I want to have a talk with him also."

"Thank you, Brandy."

"Your welcome, Todd."

I write in my notebook:

_OKay, I changed my mind about running away. I'm so glad that I met Brandy and she talked me out of it. My dad is so busted. Why would he cheat on mom? Why would he lie to mom and me about working overtime when really he was with Fishstix? That just ain't right. I think dad was just pretending to love mom, so she wouldn't find out and be mad at him. I'm going to be mad at him for a very long time. He should be ashamed for hurting me and cheating on mom._

Four days later, I'm back in Midland with Brandy. I stay at her house for a couple of hours, to get something to eat and some rest. She has three cats: T.K, Snow, and Cheeser. She has one dog, Spud. I wish that I had a dog.

About 5:30pm, Brandy and I get in her car and are off to my house. I bet my parents are worried sick, and going to ground me. Though my dad should get in trouble. I tell Brandy how to get to my house.

As soon as we get there, I tell Brandy don't come in until I wave to her. I get out of the car, go to the front door and knock.

My mom and dad answer it, "Todd!" They hug me and cry.

Dad asks, "Where were you? We called the police and told them that you were missing. I even searched for you." He cries.

Mom says, "Yeah. We were worried sick!" She cries.

"I was in San Francisco."

"San Francisco?!" they both yell.

"For running away, you're going to be grounded for another two months! Why would you do something like that?" Mom yells.

I smile.

"What's with the smile, Todd? Are you proud to be in trouble?"

"No. But I shouldn't be in trouble; dad should!"

"What are you taking about?" he asks.

I peak my head outside the door and wave. Brandy comes inside.

I point to her, "Dad, do you know Brandy Fishstix?"

He stutters, "Uh, uh, no."

Mom folds her arms, "Gordo, who's she?"

He shrugs, "I don't know."

Brandy jumps in, "Gordo, I had enough with your lying! You lied about being single. You didn't even tell me that you had a wife, a son, and another one on the way! If I had known that, I wouldn't of went out with you in the place! That's just wrong! What's wrong with you?"

Mom's mad. "Yeah, Gordo, what's wrong with you?"

He just shrugs.

"Dad, I cannot believe you! Why would you do that to mom? Do you love her? It just makes me cry. I thought my dad wasn't like that, but turns out that he was!" I get tears in my eyes.

"Gordo, why? Did you love me? I think not. I can't believe you!" I see mom get tears in her eyes, then cry.

"Lizzie, I do love you."

"No you don't, because if you did, then you wouldn't have cheated!" Mom yells.

"Dad, I thought you were my hero, but now I know that you're not."

I see my dad get tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know it's a little late for that, and everything that I've done can't be undone. But I'm truely sorry."

My mom turns away. "I'm not forgiving you! Just get out! I can't bare to look at you anymore!" Mom means it too. "I cannot..." She pause because she had a pain... "This is it."


	15. wish it'd all end?

**NOTE- I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's because of all the homework and studying I have to do, and birthday parties and just hanging with friends. The next chapter is going to be up soon. I have it written out, but I don't know when I will get time to type it up. So please be patient. That's all I have to say, so you could get reading this chapter…**

**CHAPTER 15 (PRESENT DAY) Wish It'd All End?**

We're in the car and on the street, going to the hospital. Dad is going way past the speed limit.

"Dad, slow down! I don't wanna die yet. I'm only a teen!" I yell.

"Yeah, Gordo! I don't want to die either. I'm only about to have a kid!" Mom yells. She was still mad at dad. I could tell.

Dad starts to slow down, but too late. There was a police car following us, with their siren on.

Dad pulls over. The policeman comes to the window and asks, "Do you know what the speed limit is through here?"

"Yes. It's 35."

"Why weren't you going 35?"

"Hello?! Do you see my wife?" Dad points to mom.

The policeman shakes his head, "Yes. She looks perfectly fine."

Dad looks confused. I look confused. Mom just sits there, looking at the policeman weird.

"Are you retarded?!" Dad says.

The policeman looks mad. "Please step out of the car."

"No! I've got to get to the hospital!"

"Just step out."

"No!"

"Now! Don't make me throw you out of this car, and call for backup!"

Dad sighs, "Just give me a ticket and let us go."

"No! Step out of the damn car!"

I jump in and say, "Hold up. Is this legal? I mean he just sped. What's the point of getting out of the car? Just give him a ticket!"

The policeman looks at me and yells, "Hey, kid, don't get smart with me! I'm just doing my job!"

"I'm not a kid; I'm a teen!" I correct. "And are you really a cop?"

"Of course I am."

I fold my arms. "Then what company do you work for?"

"Uh, uh, um..." The policeman's face is getting red.

"Ha! So you are a fake!"

They back up from the car and say, "So what if I'm a fake! I'm Adam Buddo. I love getting in trouble!"

I see my parents' eyes widen. "Adam!"

"Wait. Who is Adam? Friend?" I ask, confused.

Mom says, "He's sort of my friend."

Dad says, "He's my little step-brother, and always getting in trouble."

"Okay. How come I didn't know about Adam?" I ask.

Mom breathes even harder. "Gordo, please go! I don't know how much longer!"

"Well, Adam, I'd like to stay and chat, but I have to get to the hospital." Dad says.

"I know. See ya." Adam says, walking to his car.

Dad takes off speeding again.

Mom and I are yelling at him to slow it down.

"It's only ten more minutes away." Dad says.

"A lot could happen in ten minutes!" I say.

Mom yells at him, "Slow down the dang car! I know we need to get to the hospital, but you can't go fast and crash. It's unsafe! Now slow down!!" Mom says madly.

"Lizzie, I care about you, and I want to get you to the hospital as fast as I could."

"No, you don't. If you even cared, you wouldn't have cheated!" Mom is mad.

I say to myself, "Here they go again."

They are still fighting. I space off in my own little world, which is peaceful and with no worrying. Everything is wonderful there. I wish that were my life. Everything would be perfect. I wish it would really be my life. Maybe it could. I wish my dull life would just end. Maybe it could. I wish I could take back that comment about being a teen and don't want to die yet. Maybe I could. I want my life to end. My life isn't fine. I don't know why I'm thinking of suicide. Though I do know one thing, that is: I wish this life weren't mine.

I snap out of it and return to my dull life. They are still fighting.

I yell, "When are you guys ever gonna stop, and learn? I just think you guys must really hate each other!"

"Todd," Dad started.

"No, dad! Don't say anything! I just can't with you two fighting all the time, and I just can't deal with the pain! I wish it'd all end!"

"Todd, talk like that." Mom says calmly.

I say, "You just don't understand!"

-

About two minutes later, we were at the hospital and about to pull in the parking place.

I say, "Mom, good luck. Dad, goodbye." I open the back car door and cry.

"No. Don't!" they both say.

"I love you two." I gulp and stand up, then jump.

I lie on the ground. Did I die? No, because I can hear car horns beeping. Darn it! I just want my life to end!

I guessed dad had turned around, because he comes running and yelling, "Oh, no!"

"Dad? Why are you here? I thought you were too busy fighting with mom."

"Todd, you're alive!"

I lift up, "Well, yeah! I guess God wants me to live, not die."

Dad gets down on his knees and hugs me. He cries, "I don't want you to die either. Mom doesn't either. Even though we fight, doesn't mean we love and care about you; we do and that is the truth. We could never hate you, because you were our first-born and very special to us. I know that cheating on mom was wrong, but I don't what came over me. I guess since my dad cheated on my mom and got divorced, I felt I had to, because I'm his son." He dries up his tears. "I was mad at my dad when he did that. I would be mad forever until I had done the same. At this moment I know how you feel, but Todd, when you grow up and get married, I don't want you to do the same as I did."

I cry. I hug my dad. I see a tear roll down my check and fall to the ground.

Mom yells, "Hurry!"

Dad and I run to the car. We both got in. He steps on the gas and went to find a parking spot. The parking spot was in front of the hospital. Dad and I get out, then help mom out. We take her inside.

------------------------

Mom is still in her room, and it's been over one hour. Is she all right? It shouldn't take that long to have a baby. Though how should I know? I'm a guy. But I'm getting worried. I hope mom is all right. I just sit in a chair and read a newspaper, waiting and worrying.

Five minutes later, dad comes out and says to come here. I go. I see mom. "Three!"

Mom nods her head yes. "Your three sisters." She points to one, "This is Cassie." She points to another, "This is Taffie." And another, "This is Lassie."

I just smile. Dad smiles. Mom smiles.

I say with tears in my eyes, "I am glad that I didn't end my life, because if I did, I wouldn't be here right now."


	16. shine the light

_NOTE— The last chapter is kind of short but great, right? If you want me to make it longer, I can. It's no biggie. _

**CHAPTER 16 (PRESENT DAY) Shine The Light**

Three months later it's my middle school graduation. Eighth grade gone; grade nine, high school will begin, for Jay and me, though not for Joe because he's going into grade ten.

I wasn't picked to do a speech, but I asked if I could read mine that I had written, and the principal said yes. I said that I want everyone to hear it. It's not about the memories of middle school and it is kind of short, but it may possibly be good…

"Shine the light towards me; the light in my eyes keeps me believing. That's what I think to myself, because I want my friend to beat the cancer and continue living. I do not want him to die and I do not want him to say goodbye. I want him and everyone to believe. I will as well. ---My life got worse. My girlfriend wanted a break from me, and my parents fought each and everyday, just about some little thing. Although I think my dad started the fights, because when I ran away I found out that he was dating someone else; he was cheating. Oh, yeah, mom did find out, and she wasn't too happy; she was angry with him. ---My life got really worse. I was so depressed that I wanted to end my life. My life was fine. Yes, I was thinking of suicide. I wished this life weren't mine. However my dad said that he and mom didn't want me to die. Even though he and mom fight doesn't mean they don't love me; they actually do. That was the truth. I am glad that I didn't end my life, because if I did, I wouldn't be here to see my three newborn sisters. My parents now have four children to love and care for. If I weren't here, I wouldn't have Kari for a girlfriend again, and I wouldn't see Joseph without Leukemia. He was cured. It took about a year, but we believed and he recovered. That's what helps, your believing. I am glad that I'm here to see what I can see."

---------------------

At night, we have family and friends over for a middle school graduation party, and plus for a "You Believed" party, for Joe.

Mom and dad are just separated for a few months, not legally divorced. I think they should spend some time alone. I don't like them fighting all the time. If they keep on fighting when they get back together, they both will agree that it will not worth it and are getting legally divorced. Though I hope it works out. I believe.

-

"Todd, come here, outside!" Joe and Jay say as they wave.

I go outside, and I couldn't believe what I see. "Wow!" It was a limo with a red carpet leading right to it.

"Who got this? Who's it for?" I ask. I still couldn't believe it.

Mom and dad come up to me and say, "We did."

"It's a graduation present for you and your friends." Mom says.

"We rented it for about five days." Dad says.

I get a big smile on my face. "Cool! This is so cool!"

We all get in it and cruised around town and other places. I look at my parents, friends and say, "Thank you, everyone. I'd like to thank myself for not ending my life. What was I thinking? My life was going to all right. It only needed a little longer to be fine." I smile. They smile. I look out the window and see fireworks in the sky, and remembered all the things we did in Midland Middle School.

"You shined the light toward me; the light in my eyes kept me believing."

**THE END**


End file.
